


MIB can only ignore Rick Sanchez so long

by Johnlock_Baggins



Category: Men in Black (Movies), Rick and Morty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-25
Updated: 2016-01-25
Packaged: 2018-05-16 02:47:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5810629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Johnlock_Baggins/pseuds/Johnlock_Baggins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Short ficlet that came to me while watching MIB today. In the dimension where both RIck Sanchez and MIB both exsist, they surely would have crossed paths.</p>
<p>Takes place after Rick freezes time at the end of Risky business.</p>
            </blockquote>





	MIB can only ignore Rick Sanchez so long

As the sun cascaded through the room and splashed across Morty’s face, the light bore into his dream and pulled him back into consciousness. Stretching and sitting he up blinked away the last of sleep. The teenager got up and padded across to the window to reset the timer that controlled his curtains. A downside of time being frozen is the sun never sets, so his grandfather had made them all devises to automatically open the sun blocking drapes at a preset time to allow them to sleep comfortably. Morty found his jeans, a clean t-shirt and headed off to take a shower. 

On his way down the hall, he paused outside his grandfather’s room and listened to the snoring coming from the depths of the dark room. He knew the older man was most likely sleeping off a hangover and wouldn’t be awake for several hours. Continuing past his sister’s room he reached the bathroom and turned on the water. He completed his rituals and got dressed, then padded down the stairs to find some cereal. As he ate Summer came in, looking annoyed. 

“It’s about time you woke up, you set your timer later and later every day.”

“W-w-well Rick didn’t, didn’t get home until 3am, s-s-so it’s n-n-not my fault Summer!”

“You’re not responsible for Grandpa Rick Morty. You weren't even with him! Why did you stay up until he got back?” 

Morty didn’t respond, he worried about Rick ever since their run in the with council of Ricks. Whenever his Grandfather went out on his own Morty couldn’t help the thoughts that Evil Morty would find him, he was getting framed for some other business, or actually caused some sort of intergalactic violation and was sitting in a prison somewhere. He couldn’t sleep until he heard the flying saucer crash back into the garage. But he wasn’t about to admit all that to his sister. 

“Y-y-you’re just bored Summer, so you’re n-n-nitpicking at my life.”

“Of course I’m bored! It’s been almost 6 months since he froze time! We finished fixing the house after 2, and yeah it was still fun and all while the three of us were messing with the town, but now it’s getting dull being left behind and having all my friends still frozen. I never thought I’d miss going to school.”

“I-I-I don’t, I don’t know what you want me to s-s-say Summer. I can’t make him... I can’t restart time.” 

“Urgh!” Summer sighed and stormed out of the house. Morty shook his head, he had asked Rick when he was planning to get the world spinning again, and he had simply shrugged off the question and pulled him into another dimension where time was still moving to bet on some horse races. Well the green and orange 6 legged animals resembled horses anyway. 

Morty farted around the house, tidying up from their dinner last night and then picked up the dustbuster to go clean his parents in the front yard, it had been a few days since he did it last. As he opened the door he heard the familiar thud and rolling of glass bottles that signaled his grandfather had woken up and stumbled out of bed. He put in his headphones, chose a track then switched the vacuum on and started cleaning his father. As he was bent down tending to his dad’s shoes, he thought he heard a car pull up in the street. It took a moment for him to realize the world was still frozen and so there weren’t any cars driving around. Staying crouched down he yanked his earbuds out of his ears just in time to hear a car door slam shut and footsteps approaching. What in the hell? he thought as he glanced up at his immobilized parents to confirm time was still frozen as a shadow cast over him. Someone was definitely behind him. Suddenly nervous Morty slowly stood and took a deep breath before turning around. 

He found two men standing over him. Standing shoulder to shoulder, both wearing immaculate black suits and sunglasses, in matching stances with hands behind their backs. Morty’s first thoughts were that these men mean business and were not to be crossed. The older one took a step forward and pulled off his glasses.

“Morty Smith, I am agent K, this is agent J” he gestured to the other man “We are here to address the violation of treaty RS-2145 of 1978.” He stopped just short of standing toe to toe with Morty and glared down at him “Is your Grandfather around son?” 

“I uh… I well, w-w-who, what agency are y-y-you guys with anyway? Can I s-s-see, d-d-do you have some sort of identification?” Morty wasn’t about to just let anyone at Rick, regardless of how threatening they were and that he had no sort of defense what-so-ever. He glanced down at the dustbuster and tightened his grip on it before raising it up in front of him. 

“Son, you have no idea who you are messing with” the man reached forward and yanked the vacuum from the teenager’s hand effortlessly, then grabbed him by his t-shirt and twirled him around. He shoved Morty forward marching him back into the house. The younger agent followed them and once inside he spoke for the first time. 

“Rick Sanchez! We know you’re here, get your drunk ass down here!” The three of them moved into the living room, and the agents sat down on the couch as if they had all the time in the world to wait out Rick. And with time frozen, Morty realized, it seemed as though they did have just that. Agent J pulled Morty down onto the couch to sit between them. As a single synchronized movement both men crossed their right ankles over their knees.

Morty was shaking with nerves now. He hoped Rick would be able to get them out of this. He heard the upstairs bathroom door open and footsteps along the hall, then on the stairs. His body tensed with worry when his grandfather appeared in the room. 

“I am su-Uuurrp-prised to see you here, I didn’t know the Men in Black had time disruption inhibitors.”

“A precaution we took after the incident of ‘89.” Agent K said.  
“Oh for fucks sake! That wasn’t me, for the millionth damn time! It was Slow Mobius! Why are you all such incomp-Uurpp-etent toolbags?” Rick stood in the doorway, leaning on the frame, and took a swing from his flask. His gaze was locked with agent K in a silent battle. Morty thought his grandfather looked very intimidating as he stared the agent down. 

“It was your quantum signature traces that were all up in the damn place Rick !” Agent J retorted “We have I-CCTV footage of your ship …”

“Intergalactic CCTV feeds are easily tamp-ppUurrp-ed with you stupid little shit! What have you... did you just learn to walk? Become an agent this morning…just today?”

Agent J snapped up to his feet, an insolent glare on his face curling his hands into fists “Who the hell do you think you are talking to me like that?! I am SO SICK of your shit Rick. I could pull you in on about a thousand violations!! Are you forgetting how much protection we are giving you ?!”

“As a citizen of Earth I am entitled to those protections you fuckwad! I could murder the king of Zigon, decimate the fourth rank, burn the library of Ziggron to the ground and still be legally able to take asylum here on the planet of my bir-Uuuurp-th. YOU don’t know who YOU’RE messing with, coming in here and drag… draggin my grandson around with… making empty threats you peice of shit.” Rick had crossed the room and was standing nose to nose with agent J hands also in fists. Morty could do nothing but sit and watch the exchange, hoping it wasn’t going to turn physical. “I have five different compounds in my garage that would turn you into plasma I could… I would flush down the toilet where you belong, stupid control hungry MIB!”

“And I could neuralize your busted ass!” Agent J pulled something long and sliver out of his jacket. 

“Oh jeez!” Morty had no idea what it was but he didn’t like the sound of the nearalize word.

Agent K stood and raised his voice “Agent J Enough! Out in the car!” he pointed towards the front door. “You are out of line, you know that would be a violation of code MM21-38, and you are dangerously treading outside of the accepted code of conduct for dealing with indigenous species.” 

Nostrils flaring agent J took several breaths before storming out of the house, chucking his shoulder into Rick’s as he passed. Agent K took something out of his pocket and hit a few buttons before pushing Rick onto the sofa with Morty. “What the fuck!” Rick yelled but the agent cut him off “just a moment please, if you wouldn’t mind staying put.” He held out the device and a red flash crossed the couch before Rick could finish his protest and suddenly Morty couldn’t move below his neck. He looked at Rick and realized they had both been trapped on the couch. “That’s it, thank you” K said and he wandered over to agent J. 

“Oh Jeez!” Morty repeated “R-r-rick, what’s uh what’s going on?”

“Don’t worry about it Morty, these assholes don’t even know their own laws.”

“But w-w-we’re frozen to the couch Rick! I c-c-can’t move my body.” 

“Always focused on the mundane Mo-Uuurp-ty. You’ve just discovered that there is a secret government agency policing the planet’s extraterrestrial movements and, and you… your thoughts are centered around yourself… your body not moving.”

Agent K came back into the living room. “My official apologies for my partner's conduct. You seem to have an uncanny ability to piss him off Mr. Sanchez.” He took out his device again and flashed them with a green light this time. Morty lifted his arms and in relief waved them around, but still couldn’t move his legs. Rick furrowed his brow in disgust glaring at the agent; taking out his flask again. “Yea, well you all piss me the fuck off. I thought I was done with you jackasses.”

“Mr. Sanchez. You know why we are here, and you know that you are on thin ice. Violating the RS-2145 treaty …”

“I haven’t violated shit!” Rick cut him off, sitting up and leaning forward as much as he could with his partial paralysis.“I still have three days!”

“Um, no Mr. Sanchez. You’re mistaken. The 6 months was up three days ago.” K took out a small tablet, bringing the screen to life and typing for a few moments before showing Rick a set of graphs that Morty couldn’t make sense of besides knowing the different colors on the screen.

Rick slumped back against the sofa in apparent defeat, clearly the squiggles and bars meant something to the scientist. He turned to Morty eyes frantic “Have I been gone at any point in the last six months Mo-uuurp-ty? Was there a time… did I not come home?” 

“What? Oh uh y-y-yeah Rick. Last... last month you were gone for almost 4 d-d-days remember? I was furious with you when you came back, but y-y-you were too high to to notice. J-j-just shoved me aside… pushed your way in the house and up to bed.”

“Unity.” Rick whispered rubbing his hand across his face. “All right douchebag, all right!” Rick raised his hands in surrender “I was Rickety-Rick-waisted, off world and must have lost a few days, I’ll have it sorted tomorrow.”

“We cannot give you another day Mr. Sanchez, you yourself wrote into the treaty the dangerous effects of prolonged time…” Rick cut him off.

“Fucking dumb ass mother fucker let me off this couch so I can throttle you! You have to restart time at the exact time of day it was frozen you stupid shit. It’s already… that time of day is passed and I have to wait until our timelines catch up with the right time thanks to the fact that you have dozens of agents wandering around unfrozen and knowing what time it is, or they will be uncertain and you know where THAT leads don’t you, or is your brain too small to even work that out you fucking moron.” 

Agent K narrowed his eyes at Rick, then verified his information on his tablet. Seemingly satisfied he flashed them with the red light again and Rick leaped off the couch, and Morty followed. Rick held out an arm to keep Morty behind him then pulled one of his space guns out of his lab coat and pointed it right at Agent K, who didn’t even flinch. “Out. You’ll have your precious planet spinning again by this time tomorrow. I may have lost time and violated your stup-Uurrpp-id treaty, but you manhandled my grandson, something I don’t take kindly to no matter what stupid suit you’re wearing. Get the fuck out of my house MIB bastard and keep this warning in mind if you ever come here and lay a hand on Morty again, you know what I am capable of.” Morty got a chill down his spine as his grandfather growled the threat. He never wanted to be on the wrong side of this man’s anger.

It appeared agent K wouldn’t be intimidated. He slowly returned his tablet and paralysis device to his pockets and pulled out his sunglasses. Flipping them open with a snap of his wrist he put them on his face. “We’ll be watching Mr. Sanchez. Put something under the gentleman about to fall off the roof. Have a nice day” and he walked out of the house collecting agent J as he went. 

As the car took off Morty let out a low whistle “W-w-w-hat was that Rick? Who were… are MIB-b-b anyway?”

“A collection of super-moronic, self entitled, over righteous, p-Uuurp-ig-heads in suits who want to micromanage the entire planet and everything in this system.”

“Why.. I’m surprised we h-h-haven’t seen them before with all our a-a-adventures and the big party you threw… had with all those aliens.”

“Well your old granddad had home constructed a Gorgozonix Lazer back in the early 70s when they co-Uuurrpp-ldn’t be imported into this system yet and always-out-of-their-league MIB needed it. There were also several instances they needed me to act as translator for their intergalactic meetings with other planetary leaders. They needed me Morty, needed your grandfather's galactic experience and genius. But I got bored Morty… tired of them calling me to fix this.. save them from that. Like I gave shit Morty. They wanted to police this system not me. I planned to take off to another dimension with Birdperson for a break, he wanted to start a band. But before I left I fed them this great bullshit about being earth’s goodwill ambassador and wrote 2,657 treaties with them protecting myself from their stupid laws so I would have the space to science the way i wanted when I got back Morty.” he trailed off and went into the kitchen taking a beer out of the fridge. Morty took it from him and swigged it down greedily to calm his nerves. Rick raised an eyebrow at his grandson and laughed grabbing another beer for himself.

“Woah R-r-rick. So like w-w-what there are other aliens coming to earth other than.. besides the ones that have to do with you?”

“Of cou-Urrpp-se Morty, Earth is in the middle of the Milky-Way, you think no other space travelers would stop here? Don’t be a simpleton Morty, gotta think outside the box remember? Galactic terms not planetary.”

“S-s-so you’re going to restart time tomorrow then? What happens if you didn’t, w-w-what were those agents talking about with, with that treaty and stuff?”

“Nevermind about that Morty. The agreement I have with MIB is that I would never interfere with time for more than six months at a time, simple as... Uuurp... that.” he took his beer back out to the living room collapsing down onto the couch. Morty flung himself down next to him as Rick tuned on the interdimensional cable box and found a new installment of Ball Fondlers. Summer walked in about 20 minutes later and sunk down into the chair nearby. 

“We’re restarting time tomorrow Summer, put a mattress under Mr. Benson. Morty in the morning go get all the money from the first national back in town and replace it with wafer cookies. That way we’ll have some cash to fund our adventures Mo-rUurrp-ty. I’ll be restarting time at 4:48pm. Make sure you’re back in the house or you’ll end up lost in the quantum flux.”

Morty and Summer had no idea what that meant, but being happy that time was about to start running again they didn’t much care. Summer couldn’t wait to see her friends, and Morty was excited to start having regular adventures with Rick again.


End file.
